Friday, February 24, 2012

Keeping up with the Crunchy

Also known as....The post where I get some stuff off my chest.



I love it when I read something that gets me thinking.  Something that just pushes me ever so slightly in the right direction.  Into a place that I needed to be in, but didn't quite realize until I got that nudge.

Erin's post yesterday did just that for me.

To tell the truth, I have stopped following several blogs that I used to follow.  I got tired of seeing the same thing regurgitated by person after person after person on another person's site.  I find that if I keep reading the same thing, the same opinion, or seeing the same pictures as someone else...I lose track of who's space I am actually visiting.  They all meld together and I lose touch with the actual person.

It seems like everyone is trying to "Keep up with the Crunchy". 

Where is the originality?  The authenticity?  I myself get caught up in the middle of it too. 

And don't get me wrong.  I do realize that there are genuinely crunchy people out there that live the lifestyle to a tee.  They live and breath the natural lifestyle.  And good for them.  Really.  I admire that.  But for the most part, I just don't buy into all of that sweetness and light.

This may sound bitchy but I truly believe that for every genuinely crunchy mama out there...there are two mamas who hide a TV out of frame of the camera and have a box of Pampers in the closet and a pantry overflowing with not-so-natural food.

Afraid to show it.  Afraid of being judged.

Why do we do that to ourselves?  Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves that we feel the compulsion to portray something that we aren't quite fully?

I have written about my struggles with identification in motherhood.

And so now I am taking my own words to heart.

Life's too short to try to be something other than myself.

If we can't be ourselves...then who is it exactly that we are sharing.

But that's the point isn't it?  Friends being there for friends.  Through the good and the bad?  I don't want someone to tell me how terrific that I am all the time, and I sure as Hell don't want to tell someone else how terrific they are all of the time.

Life is complicated and messy and real.  Why can't we be?

We all have something to share, something that we might need to get off of our chests.

I've stuggled with my writing in this space before.  My hopes for my space, what I wish for it.  I try to be real here.  I try to share some of the ugly.   But when it gets too rough I tend to retreat from writing here. Whether it's surgery, ill family members, a messy house, waning creativity, boys who run around like rabid animals,.  I hide.  I convince myself that you don't want to hear about my issues.  You have enough of your own issues.  So I pull back and share the good when it happens.

But now I say Fuck it...maybe you do want to hear about it.  Maybe it will bring us closer.  Maybe it will make you dislike me.  Maybe it will make you like me more.

And so... I've decided to begin a weekly raw post.

A day that I am going to stop looking for the perfect mug to take a picture of my morning coffee, stop shoving the laundry off of the bed when I take a picture of my cat.  I am going to stop feeling bad for sharing pictures of the plastic (GASP) toys, packaged food, or worrying about cropping the playstation out of a photo.

A day to let is spill.  A real, un-edited, relatable, honest-to-goodness ( or badness ) moment.  Maybe it was something I ate that I regret, a mess that was made, something that brought on an emotion that wasn't so great, but needed to be captured.

My hope is that I find that it helps me to appreciate the good when I can look back on the not so fabulous.

Maybe I'll tell you about it or maybe I'll just let you draw your own conclusions.

Letting it out feels pretty damn good.


Because Keeping up with the Crunchy can be exhausting.

32 comments:

  1. *applause*
    Thank you for being real. (:

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh! This is so great!
    Little Homestead in the Desert and I are trying to work out a little Friday Meme to document to messes in our lives, but I love your idea of a weekly post to vent...
    Much Love Friend!
    e.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Erin, this might actually go somewhere. Much love right back to you.

      Delete
  3. I only recently found your blog, and, as of this post, I officially adore you. I'm only slightly crunchy, but I've always wondered what it must be like for all these mommas to have to keep up with all the other mommas. It must be exhausting.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so happy to hear this. Thank you for your kind words Jennifer. I can't keep up either. ;)

      Delete
  4. Yes, we need more honesty in blog-land. I struggle with how honest to be as well, I don't know why it is so difficult.

    x, C

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't know why it is so hard either Catherine. maybe we can all make it easier for each other by working at the honesty.

      Delete
  5. I smiled and thought, "Brava!" as I read this today...while eating my neon colored mac and cheese which I was feeling ashamed of. I sometimes share my stuff but I am cautious and aware of whether it's my stuff to share or that of my kids, kwim? I want to respect their privacy as they are getting older. People want to portray their best selves, and I get that, but in the process I find I compare myself to all the "photoshopped" versions of life instead of what is real and messy and authentic. I am working toward transparency but it isn't always easy or comfortable. -Peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stacey, really thank you for sharing. I can 100% relate and I am working to reform as well. Good luck!

      Delete
  6. I hear you loud and clear! I do consider myself a "sorta" crunchy mama. I have my fair share of days with floors sticky from orange juice spills, picking up my girls from school in coffee-stained pajamas, hiding myself in the bathroom to get one moment of silence and times when the best babysitter in the house is most definitely the television.

    I, too, am a bit tired of seeing the same ol' posts written a hundred different ways on blogs. I believe you have always been authentic and continue to be so. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen Olivia. I hear you too. The boys are partial to their babysitter, the playstation!

      XO, J

      Delete
  7. When I read posts like this, I let out a big exhale. I feel better. A weight lifts. Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Cathy. Thank you so much.

      Delete
  8. Thanks for your honesty ~ geez I have struggled with this as well! I think a lot of us do. While I love all the beautiful blogs I read, and admire and am inspired by so many women, I realized how much I inflict pressure and perfectionism on myself due to feeling the need to 'keep up,' and for a while last year it was making me nuts!!! I kept feeling like the blog police were watching me all the time! It does feel so good to let that go. And to be YOU. Bravo. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly! Keeping up is so not worth it. It can make us crazy and that it the worst part.

      Delete
  9. Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit..... I think I started a movement. That might be my next blog post. The Mama Liberation Movement! Just sat on the couch with my honey drinking a beer and he said to me "steph, you need a space where people can read this stuff. crazy real life family stuff that happens every day." I think you got it J. For reals. I love your honest posts.... you real life bits. I love that you don't fit neat and tidy into one specific little box. There is a whole tribe of us who are just the same..... real. Thank you for this post and you are so much braver than I am for typing out the best four letter word ever. FUCK~ haha! Much love to you brave woman. I adore you.
    xo
    ~stephinie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stephinie! I thank you. I thank you so much for getting the wheels turning.

      Delete
  10. I completely agree. I started a series this year as well - http://mummyzilla.blogspot.co.nz/2012/01/12-in-2012.html to try and document my 'real' life.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sounds good to me... there are days I look at the blogs I read then look around my home and my life and just think "How can they have it all so right when I clearly don't".
    I am glad someone out there is acknowledging the staging and editing of life that goes into some blogs.
    Thanks from
    A real mummy with toys all over the floor and a few dishes in the sink : )

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am so happy that you can relate. I have a alot of toys AND dishes EVERYWHERE!

      Delete
  12. I CANNOT wait to read this blog post by Erin that you mention. . . and already I totally appreciate your own candor.

    I have never self-described me-self as a crunchy mama, but I have over time tried to move towards healthier, real lifestyle choices for myself and my family. So I am encouraged in looking into these "crunchy" ideas from "crunchy" mamas to see what I like that might work for our family. Then let me add (as this is a big part of who I am and where I come from), I'm a politically Conservative (yes, with a capital "C") Christian. In CrunchyLand, one doesn't state such things because to most crunchy people, this is basically saying that one is an unthinking Idiot (yes, with a capital "I"). Ha. And then on the other hand, speaking anything that smacks of "counterculture" in particular Christian congregations will get you some, "You can't be serious" looks and comments too. Which totally doesn't make sense to me as Jesus Christ encouraged His disciples to be countercultural in their thinking.

    I have to say: some people aren't as counterculture as they believe they are. There's an awful lot of homogeneity amongst the Crunchies (and certain Christian circles too).

    The hypocrisy of many crunchy mamas bothers me as much as some Christian circles. . . why do so many of them tout being simple and less materialistic/consumerist BUT contradict that by stocking their shelves to the hilt with the most expensive toy products? (Yes, I know many of these products are sustainable, etc.) But good grief, there blogs become nothing more than toy/eco-product catalogs whereupon they brag about the latest cool eco-toy or gadget they have obtained. No different than the rest of the culture, really. . . they just happen to spend more money on toys they deem "better".

    Again, I shall continue to change my life in ways that honor God and open me up to my own personal blindspots. I love all mamas really. . . women can be so freakin' hard on themselves. And maybe that's ultimately why some of us only post the "perfect". I guess we will be truly liberated when we quit trying to be culturally perfect (whatever culture we buy into), and start trying to grow into the women that our Creator made each us to uniquely be. No need for jealousy, envy and insecurity. . . we are each unique.

    I am inspired by your candor.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Here here. I've been feeling this for ages but never put it into words. I too stopped reading blogs where everything is so perfectly perfect. Give me a break! Am I the only mother who loses her shit every now and then??? Doubt it! Thank you for your honesty.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I love seeing beautiful photos but I also love seeing the messy real life ones too. I don't think anyone lives a perfect life no matter how crunchy they are. It is refreshing when people admit that. Like you I'm drawn to a lot of crunchy, earthy, simplicity out there in blog world but I know it can't be perfect here with our situation in life. Embracing what we can and knowing that with time we may just get to some of the other things on our list is enough for us. Balance is really the key.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I am extremely pleased about your decision and I look forward to your posts. Sometimes life is hard and pretending it isn't only sets up unattainable expectations to the rest of us. thank you, Jules for keeping it real.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm new here, stopping by from Rythm of the Home and I just wanted to say thank you. This definitely makes me like you more and I look forward to following.

    ReplyDelete

I read and appreciate all comments and thoughts. I will try to respond to comments here in the post, so if you ask a question, please check back.
Love, Jules