I love it when I read something that gets me thinking. Something that just pushes me ever so slightly in the right direction. Into a place that I needed to be in, but didn't quite realize until I got that nudge.
Erin's post yesterday did just that for me.
To tell the truth, I have stopped following several blogs that I used to follow. I got tired of seeing the same thing regurgitated by person after person after person on another person's site. I find that if I keep reading the same thing, the same opinion, or seeing the same pictures as someone else...I lose track of who's space I am actually visiting. They all meld together and I lose touch with the actual person.
It seems like everyone is trying to "Keep up with the Crunchy".
Where is the originality? The authenticity? I myself get caught up in the middle of it too.
And don't get me wrong. I do realize that there are genuinely crunchy people out there that live the lifestyle to a tee. They live and breath the natural lifestyle. And good for them. Really. I admire that. But for the most part, I just don't buy into all of that sweetness and light.
This may sound bitchy but I truly believe that for every genuinely crunchy mama out there...there are two mamas who hide a TV out of frame of the camera and have a box of Pampers in the closet and a pantry overflowing with not-so-natural food.
Afraid to show it. Afraid of being judged.
Why do we do that to ourselves? Why do we put so much pressure on ourselves that we feel the compulsion to portray something that we aren't quite fully?
I have written about my struggles with identification in motherhood.
And so now I am taking my own words to heart.
Life's too short to try to be something other than myself.
If we can't be ourselves...then who is it exactly that we are sharing.
But that's the point isn't it? Friends being there for friends. Through the good and the bad? I don't want someone to tell me how terrific that I am all the time, and I sure as Hell don't want to tell someone else how terrific they are all of the time.
Life is complicated and messy and real. Why can't we be?
We all have something to share, something that we might need to get off of our chests.
I've stuggled with my writing in this space before. My hopes for my space, what I wish for it. I try to be real here. I try to share some of the ugly. But when it gets too rough I tend to retreat from writing here. Whether it's surgery, ill family members, a messy house, waning creativity, boys who run around like rabid animals,. I hide. I convince myself that you don't want to hear about my issues. You have enough of your own issues. So I pull back and share the good when it happens.
But now I say Fuck it...maybe you do want to hear about it. Maybe it will bring us closer. Maybe it will make you dislike me. Maybe it will make you like me more.
And so... I've decided to begin a weekly raw post.
A day that I am going to stop looking for the perfect mug to take a picture of my morning coffee, stop shoving the laundry off of the bed when I take a picture of my cat. I am going to stop feeling bad for sharing pictures of the plastic (GASP) toys, packaged food, or worrying about cropping the playstation out of a photo.
A day to let is spill. A real, un-edited, relatable, honest-to-goodness ( or badness ) moment. Maybe it was something I ate that I regret, a mess that was made, something that brought on an emotion that wasn't so great, but needed to be captured.
My hope is that I find that it helps me to appreciate the good when I can look back on the not so fabulous.
Maybe I'll tell you about it or maybe I'll just let you draw your own conclusions.
Because Keeping up with the Crunchy can be exhausting.